Plastic Crown for Male Gaze

March 13, 2023

By Diane Sarmiento, Arien Malonzo

Patriarchy has always been the largest hurdle feminists face as they continue to advocate for women’s rights and quality of living—and internalized misogyny is the unspoken branch of it. Internalized misogyny has gracefully perpetuated the oppression of men against women without directly doing it. It has become an ugly behavior that plagues the Filipino community. Transitioning lifestyles from the small pond of Baguio to the intimidating seas of Manila has proved that the community has unfortunately caught onto this ugly behavior.

Internalized misogyny has a limited view of femininity and womanhood. This notion states that a woman must oust all of the traditional notions of womanhood and provoke the unbreakable existence of "the other girl" to attain self-reliance and independence. It makes womanhood be perceived as a mere competition rather than a collaborative endeavor that requires uplifting others and being an ally to a sister. The society-made competition ignores the diversity and intricacy of independent existence and being one’s true self.

It is the patriarchy that will always remain the adversary of feminism. These patriarchal ideals are the long-held ideologies firmly embedded in people of all gender identities. Feminism is the only thing that can counter these problematic notions with its advocacies, means, and genuineness about making the world a better place for all existing genders. It is about deliberately challenging your preconceptions to make space for inclusive, welcoming, and diverse views on womanhood.

Gillian Flynn’s best-selling book, “Gone Girl,” turned into a blockbuster masterpiece. It encapsulates what it truly means to be The Cool Girl. The Cool Girl was described as the kind of girl that completely enchants men. Amy Dunne, the book's main character, defined a cool girl as “Hot and understanding. They never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.” In short, The Cool Girl is the girl of every man’s dreams. Get on men’s good side, be a cool girl, and lose yourself in the process. If you cannot be the cool girl, then brace yourself as the punch of patriarchy is about to eat you whole.

There is no question that the male gaze has been normalized in all forms of media. In the Philippines, the film industry always has a space for erotic films that mostly cater to the male audience. This even went as far as creating cinemas intended to play NC-17 films before. When mobile phones became a massive hit, celebrities with bodies you can’t replicate without going under the knife dominated social media. Guess what they look like? Long legs, voluptuous breasts, and a stomach that looks like a bodily organ won’t fit.

Because of these, women are often viewed as objects of desire. They are to be conquered. It does not help that there are advertisements made specifically for men. For example, San Miguel Corporation’s “Calendar Girl,” where the dates are merely visible and the woman in a bikini takes up the whole space, or FHM’s top 100 sexiest females in the Philippines. See how they used the word “sexy” to invoke the hormones of men? And how females need to compete who’s the sexiest of them all.

Internalized misogyny turns women against each other as they try to justify obvious oppressive remarks made by ignorant men with the goal of demeaning their value. It is the ugly society that dismantles feminine courage and confidence. It is the building up of problematic norms that fuel hatred for women who go beyond the box society has built for them: the innocent, inferior, and fragile girl whose life will come together once validated by a man. This notion turns women into competitors for validation from patriarchal motives.

As someone who lived in a rural area, the immense difference between the culture I was raised in and the one I am faced with now is apparent. Whenever I walk the streets of España, I almost always get catcalled. Sometimes for something that I’m wearing, but most of the time, it is just because I am a woman. Tricycle and jeepney drivers would say, “Miss, saan ka? Hatid na kita.” Even if one argues that they might have the purest intention, more often than not, those intentions are laced with malice. It is not, in any way, flattering to be called “beautiful” by bystanders who would look at you slowly from head to toe.

Valuing validation, likability, and treating other women as competition in order to fall under the standards of the male gaze has been something that is quite a trend nowadays. The trend of quirkiness and being the designated “not like the other girls” girl has been extremely damaging in pre-teens and teenagers, especially since they are to face and navigate adolescence, an important phase in their life. Some girls take the bait and fall into the trap of questioning women before confronting the system that made these stigmas play into the lives of women in society.

It is the patriarchal system that paves the way for women to pit themselves against each other for the sake of male validity and societal acceptance. It has become a complement to becoming “different,” making way for hatred toward women who are just being themselves. Some women are conditioned to engage in competition with other women because men have fooled women into thinking that they are a prize worth winning.

More instances of internalized misogyny happen when women project sexist and misogynistic ideas onto other women and onto themselves subconsciously. It has become the byproduct of continuous patriarchy in the country as a means of survival in society. Internalized misogyny ranges from degrading the value of women to abiding by the likings of men or the male gaze. Though it is rarely addressed, it is and will always be a pressing issue if left unattended. It has become the prejudiced behavior women project upon themselves and other women. This manifests in statements that claim, “I am not like other girls,” due to the need to cater to the male gaze.

To combat the blurry boxes of internalized misogyny, women must first confront the system instead of “the other girl.” She must learn to dismantle the competition culture between her and her sisters. But to do this, she must also be able to call herself out for displaying internalized misogyny. However, she does not have to be hard on herself for giving in to the bait of patriarchy that was shoved upon her. Instead, she must use this as her framework for change.

It is people against the system and not people against people. Recognizing the weaknesses of society is what makes living tolerable for every kind of community. In this case, attacking the root of internalized misogyny will lead to camaraderie and possible cessation of discrimination against women and the dismantling of the ever-so-problematic male gaze.